Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Day 48 (I'm counting down now)

I've had visions of myself having a heart attack now for a couple of months. I dabble a little in astrology and with the way the planets were aligned with the full moon today I was certain something catastrophic was going to happen, i.e. me having a heart attack. It's not like it's so far-fetched...heart disease runs in my family, my mom's mom had a heart attack when she was 42, my dad's dad had four heart attacks, the first one at 36 - and he was skinny as a rail. My dad had a heart attack at 46 and after a gazillion years of a great diet and exercise he still had to have a quintuple bypass - the doctor said he was the healthiest patient he had ever operated on. So given the fact that I'm 40 and overweight and have a horrible diet it seemed plausible. And maybe all the attention on Tim Russert is weighing on my mind as well.

Tonight in class we had a guest instructor Tammi. Now Tammi was an actual instructor the last time I took the class, Tammi is a muy thai boxing machine. Our warm up was running. Running is my enemy. In fact, I didn't even think it was possible I could run until the last time I took the class. I was surprised at myself after that last class. Anyhoo, I start off on a nice slow jog when I realize everyone else is running behind me (we run in formation). Shit! Shit! Shit! I cannot lead the pack, I am running with the penguins, not the Olympics! And no one will pass me!! So do I slow down even though I am sucking wind - nooooo - I keep going, determined, focused. Finally - it's over. Then we start with kicks, ugh! My heart was pounding, I mean pounding out of my chest - this is it I thought, the big one...then, one of the 20-something guys has to leave the room because he can't hack it! I was thanking God it wasn't me!! I know this is awful, but I thought to myself, thank God it's the young guy having the heart attack and not the old fat lady.

Then Tammi gives us the big speech about taking it easy and raising our hands above our heads if we start feeling funky...

The rest of class and all the way home I just kept thinking I was going to have a heart attack in my sleep. I stopped at RiteAid and found a little tube of Bayer that said "Survival Pack" on it - it was a sign. For good measure I also purchased some St. Joseph's aspirin - in the back of my mind I knew I had seen the commercial.

Please someone call me in the morning to make sure I'm still alive!! And if I'm not, please remove the purple box from my closet before my mom gets here to claim my body and clean out my apartment.

Only 47 days left.

No comments: